please feel free to call me.

Twice a day at our school, they play English lesson tapes over the loud speaker on our campus. You'd think that this would be a good idea for them to learn English. Something kind of like the Italian lesson tapes in the restrooms at Macaroni Grill. Wrong. These are English lessons on crack. Like everything in China, it is not normal and absolutely hysterical to listen to. I wish that I could record it and post it on here. Maybe one day when I get back to America I will be able to access the real Blogger site and do that.

As for now, I will just have to explain in words. They start out with a man talking in Chinese explaining what the lesson will contain. Then they start the English sentences to repeat. For example, "My younger brother is a writer and my elder sister is a doctor." Pretty normal right? They say the sentence slow and tell you to repeat. Then its "simultaneous speaking" time. This consists of the man repeating the sentence over and over in different contexts. For some reason with this sentence the man emphasizes the word "doctor" like "dooooooocccccctooooorrrr" in kind of a scary yelling monster voice. Then (my favorite) is "as fast as possible" time. The man saying the sentence as fast as humanly possible. Like we actually talk like that? I mean, I know we talk fast but not THAT fast. This process is repeated with different random sentences.

Some of my favorites:
-"Please feel free to call me." This one is especially good in the as fast as possible section.
-"What's all the fuss?" This one is really scary when the man says it in his loud scary monster voice emphasizing the word FUSS.
-"I must be the best I can be." Typical.
-"That's too expensive." Also scary in the monster voice.
-"There must be a mistake."

I look forward to this daily. So so hilarious.